Though the article is clickbait, I found it intriguing and tried translating it into English and (traditional) Chinese. Considering it’s a bit outdated and some parts of the content can be regarded as stereotypical or discriminatory, I interviewed my partner, who’s French from the south but has spent 1/3 of his life in Paris, to know what he thinks about these signs and if he fits them all (or if they fit him). I also share some of my outlook on this topic as a newcomer, and we hope this discourse can provide you with relatively accurate facts about Parisians in real life.
原文來自法國TOPITO網站，覺得有趣就想翻譯看看。雖然有些確實一針見血，部分還是太 cliché，所以就請我的法籍伴侶幫忙評評看，也順便分享我作為巴黎新鮮人的小小見聞。當然這都只是我們的生命經驗，無法代表全體生活在巴黎這座國際大城的人。
P.S. It appears better to read in desktop mode.
Ça ne te choque plus de payer 800€ de loyer pour un 15m2. 4.5坪大的房間月租2萬6已經嚇不倒你。 It doesn’t shock you any more to pay 800€ rent for a 15m2. 👱🏻♂️: Sadly accurate, but it is the same in most big cities! 👩🏻: And it’s also happening in Taipei (or Taiwan in general), which’s just ridiculous.
D’ailleurs, tu n’es pas surpris de faire la queue pour visiter un studio. 與此同時，排隊看房也不是什麼新鮮事。 Besides, you’re not surprised to stand in line to visit a studio. 👱🏻♂️: It’s accurate. I remember queuing to visit apartments, which’s normal. Sometimes I see young people well-dressed on the sidewalk, and I know they are people visiting an apartment. Getting an apartment in Paris is like applying for a job, but I doubt it is specific to Paris.
Tu connais par cœur les stations de ta ligne de métro. 對於經過你家的捷運路線，每站你都倒背如流。 You know every station of your metro line by heart. 👱🏻♂️: Accurate … When commuting, I like to recite the name of the stations to entertain myself (and brag). 👩🏻: I don’t take the metro a lot in Paris. I walk around 15,000 to 23,000 steps every day.
Il te suffit d’un pic-nic dans un parc pour avoir eu l’impression d’être parti à la campagne. 在公園野餐就足以讓你覺得恍若置身鄉間。 All you need is a picnic in a park to feel like you’ve gone to the countryside. 👱🏻♂️: I don’t really agree. I feel like parcs (I preserve his Frenglish hehe) in Paris are always crowded and not pastoral at all. I like them though. 👩🏻: In Paris, I’ve never had the impression or delusion that I seemed in the countryside.
Il te faut une vraie bonne raison pour passer de l’autre côté du périph’. 得有天大的理由你才甘願踏出巴黎環城大道。 You need a compelling reason to cross the Boulevard Périphérique (a controlled-access dual-carriageway ring road in Paris, in case you don’t know). 👱🏻♂️: This one is annoying. It’s elitism! In my view, people who think that way just want to show how hardcore Parisians they are. It’s ridiculous. There are many good things to do and see in the suburbs! Stop the hardcore parisianism. It’s so outdated! I think only pretentious people over 30 yo share this idea** (I plead guilty. As his partner, I shamefully don’t know what ** means in his comments.)
Pour plein de gens, tu n’es qu’un parigot (tête de veau). 對多數人而言，你不過就是個巴黎俗（牛犢頭）。 （來自過去其他省分法國人譏諷巴黎人的順口溜 « Parisien, tête de chien! Parigot, tête de veau! » 雖然牛犢頭是一道傳統法國菜，這句俗諺基本上沒什麼意思，純屬嘲弄。） You’re just a hick from Paris (calf’s head) for many people. (From the French proverb: “Parisian, head of a dog! Parisian, head of a calf!” Plus, ‘tête de veau’ is a dish consisting of a calf’s head, commonly found in French, Belgian, German, Swiss and Italian cuisine.) 👱🏻♂️: Slightly accurate. The opposition between Paris and “la province” is a big topic. “Parigot tête de veau” is an expression used to make fun of Parisians, but it is outdated; only old people still use it.
Tu as appris à slalomer entre les petits cadeaux que te laissent les chiens sur le trottoir. 你能巧妙閃躲人行道上寵物狗的贈禮（遍布的狗屎）。 You’ve learned to ‘slalom’ between the little gifts left by dogs on the pavement. 👱🏻♂️: Here they are suggesting that sidewalks are covered with doggo p*o, but it’s not true to me! I think the sidewalks are ok, and for a big city with such a high density (and horrible creatures) (please pardon his discrimination against certain species on earth), Paris is clean. 👩🏻: I disagree with him that Paris is clean haha. Taipei is clean.
Tu ne vas jamais sur “les Champs”, sauf pour faire visiter. 除非帶人參觀，你絕不去香榭大道。 You never go to Champs-Élysées except to show people around. 👱🏻♂️: True. I don’t like “les champs elysées”. To me, it’s just for tourists, and I have no interest in going there. 👩🏻: Yeah, I’ve only been there once when I first came to the city, and that’s enough.
Tu connais les vrais bons endroits où l’embrasser. 知道哪裡最適合接吻。 Only you know where to kiss. 👱🏻♂️: Nonsense. It’s just a way of perpetuating the cliché of the “romantic Parisian lover”. This fact feels like a line in Emily in Paris. 👩🏻: I prefer kissing at home hehe. And don’t ever mention that stupid series in front of me!
Tu n’as pas peur de prendre le noctilien (seuls les vrais savent). 你不怕搭Noctilien（行駛法蘭西島大區/大巴黎的夜間公車）（真正巴黎人才知道）。 You’re not afraid to take Noctilien (the night bus service in Paris and its surroundings) (only the real Parisians know). 👱🏻♂️: “Noctilien” are night buses. They have a bad reputation and are deemed dangerous. I took it a few times. It’s not that dangerous. I don’t know what to think.
Tu prends un grec, pas un kebab. 你吃希臘三明治而不是烤肉口袋餅（兩者都近似沙威瑪）。 You take Gyros instead of Kebabs. 👱🏻♂️: I think it’s the opposite! Bobos parisiens say “kebab,” and people in the suburbs (supposedly street people) say “un Grec”** 👩🏻: I actually don’t know if it’s saying Parisians prefer Gyros to Kebabs or if they call Kebabs Gyros.
Tu es déjà tombé sur un tournage de film dans ta rue et ça ne t’a pas surpris. 對於你住的那條街是電影場景你已見怪不怪。 You’ve already seen a movie set on your street, and that’s nothing new. 👱🏻♂️: Accurate! I have already seen the shooting of a movie in the street. I just pretended not to care because I did not want to look like a tourist …
Chaque année tu trouves un nouveau bar qui devient le “QG” de ta bande de potes. 每年都有一間酒吧成為你跟死黨的新據點。 Every year, you discover a new bar that becomes the “HQ” of your group of friends. 👱🏻♂️: Hmm, I am not a fan of getting to bars! I am a fake Parisian on this. But I know Paris is famous for its bars and “terrasses”, but I don’t like sitting on a “terrasse”. I find it quite dull. 👩🏻: I feel all the Latin people love the terrace.
Tu masques ton excitation quand tu croises une célébrité dans la rue. 在路上撞見明星也能處之泰然。 You hide your excitement when passing a celebrity on the street. 👱🏻♂️: Yes! Same for number 12! It happened to me, and I just pretended not to care. And I am too shy to talk to a famous person anyway**
Tu ne te photographies jamais devant les monuments. JAMAIS! 拒與觀光景點合照，絕不！ You refuse to photograph yourself in front of monuments. NEVER! 👱🏻♂️: Yes! Again, it’s for tourists! I don’t blame them, but I have been living here for many years, so I don’t really pay attention to the old buildings anymore, they (sadly?) have become normal to me. (I just took photos of him with the Louvre Pyramid the other night.)
Le plus pénible dans tes vacances, c’est le retour. 想到假期結束得回巴黎就痛苦萬分。 The most challenging part of your vacation is to return. 👱🏻♂️: Isn’t it the case for any single person on earth?**
Tu aimes quand Paris s’éveille à 5h du mat’ … et que tu rentres te coucher. 著迷於清晨5點甦醒的巴黎 … （一首名曲），儘管你正要回家補眠。 You like it when Paris wakes up at 5 am (a song) ... and you’re on the way home to bed. 👱🏻♂️: Hmm, I don’t know what to think. I think it’s quite common in a big city for someone to party and get back home at 5 in the morning and sleep. Not specific to Paris. It’s ridiculous to think that Paris is more of a “party city” than any other big city.
Tu connais toutes les couleurs des lignes de métro (enfin presque). 知道捷運每條路線的顏色（吧）。 You know all the colours that the metro lines represent (well, almost). 👱🏻♂️: Kind of accurate. It’s like the number 3! It’s a good opportunity to show off and a good game to play with yourself when commuting. You try to associate the colours with the number of a metro line**
Top 3 des animaux que tu détestes le plus : 1/ le pigeon 2/ Le rat 3/ Le touriste. 最討厭的三種動物：鴿子、老鼠、觀光客。 Top 3 animals you hate the most: the pigeon, the rat and the tourist. 👱🏻♂️: I don’t hate tourists!
Ça te fait toujours bizarre d’aller dans un endroit où il n’y a pas de 4G. 到沒有4G網路的地方就顯得無所適從。 It always feels weird to go somewhere without 4G. 👱🏻♂️: Outdated! 4g is everywhere now!**
Tu n’as jamais pris le bateau mouche. Mais tu fais coucou aux touristes. 從沒搭過（塞納河）遊船，但你會對船上觀光客揮手。 You never took the fly boat, but you said hi to the tourists on it. 👱🏻♂️: Very accurate … It’s the same as for les champs élysées. Bateaux mouches, to me, are for tourists only. But I indeed waved at them!
Tu ne refuses jamais un verre en terrasse. Même à 10 euros. 無法抗拒在露天座小酌，即使一杯超過300塊。 You always accept a drink on the terrace, even at 10 euros. 👱🏻♂️: As I said, I don’t like “terrasses” I find them boring and too sunny. But I am a fake Parisian. Here, most people in Paris love going to a terrasse after work in summer. And yes, the drinks are SO expensive (think of the 12 euros cocktail I had with P!)**
Tu croises la misère tous les jours. Mais tu ne la vois plus. 每天都與貧困的人擦身而過，但你已視而不見。 You pass by the poor and homeless daily but have turned a blind eye. 👱🏻♂️: Very, very true. I am very used to seeing a lot of homeless people on the streets. 👩🏻: I have strong sentiments on this issue. On the one hand, I found it bizarre to see so many homeless on the street. It was my first cultural shock, and I always feel sad seeing one or slightly guilty when I don’t have coins to give. But on the other hand, it seems a good reminder to be grateful for what we have in our imperfect and not always satisfying life.
Quand tu vas courir, tu fais le tour du parc. Trois fois. 想要跑步的時候就去繞公園，最多3圈。 When you feel like running, you do it around a park. Three laps. 👱🏻♂️: I don’t run. 👩🏻: Wrnong wrong wrong! Of course you should run along the canal! Hmm, Parc des Buttes-Chaumont is marvellous, too, though.
Tu peux acheter une bouteille trop chère et pas bonne à n’importe quelle heure. 不管幾點都能買到一瓶貴又難喝的葡萄酒。 You can buy an overpriced lousy bottle of wine anytime. 👱🏻♂️: I don’t drink a lot, but this one seems a bit wrong to me. Most shops don’t sell alcohol at night in Paris. And most shops close at night. I heard it’s not the same in other big cities. To me, Paris is pretty quiet at night. 👩🏻: This is not true. I saw several supermarkets with a sign on their entries saying they don’t sell alcohol after 20h or 21h.
UNE fois tu as réussi à trouver un taxi rapidement. Et il était aimable. 只有那麼一次你很快就招到計程車，司機還非常親切！ You managed to get a cab in no time only once, and the driver was kind. 👱🏻♂️: The cliché of the grumpy taxi driver! I can’t tell because I never take taxis. Uber was invented then hehehe. And most uber drivers are nice to me. 👩🏻: I’ve only taken Uber. And the drivers are overall benevolent.
Tu sais dans quelle rame de métro monter pour être en face de la sortie. 知道在第幾節車廂下車離你的出口最近。 You know which carriage is to the exit directly. 👱🏻♂️: Very true, and I feel so proud about it. I brag a lot about this one.
Tu aimes quand Paris se vide au mois d’Aout. Sans les parisiens. 喜歡八月沒有巴黎人的巴黎。 You like it when Paris empties in August with no Parisians. 👱🏻♂️: True true true! However, everything is closed in August in Paris, which is also a bit boring. Like bakeries, they all go on holiday. Same for museums, all closed.
Tu peux tester toutes les cuisines du monde juste en changeant de quartier. 換個區就能享盡異國料理。 You can try exotic cuisines just by shifting to other neighbourhoods. 👱🏻♂️: Kind of true, and I have to say I like it. But I feel like it’s way better in London on this side. 👩🏻: I feel we can have exotic cuisines in the same neighbourhood in Taipei.
Y’a 894 spectacles qui se jouent tous les soirs. Mais tu n’y vas jamais. 每晚都有894場舞台戲劇表演，但你永遠不會去。 894 shows are playing every night, but you never go seeing one. 👱🏻♂️: Very, very true! As a “long-time” Parisian, I don’t really pay attention to the big shows in Paris.
Tu te dis qu’il faudrait vraiment que tu visites le Louvre. Un jour. 不斷告訴自己總有一天要去參觀羅浮宮。 You tell yourself that you really should visit the Louvre. One day. 👱🏻♂️: I love le Louvre and went there! And I think a lot of Parisians love to go there! I don’t think it is a tourist thing only to love the Louvre.
T’imites vachement bien la voix qui annonce les stations de métro, surtout l’espagnol de la ligne 14 à Gare de Lyon. 模仿捷運廣播的功夫一絕，尤其是14號線里昂車站的西班牙文廣播。 You’re good at imitating the voice that announces the metro stations, especially the Spanish one for line 14 at Gare de Lyon. 👱🏻♂️: Hmm, too specific. 👩🏻: I did so in Taipei when I was a brat.
Tu es content quand tu ne mets “que” 30 minutes pour aller au boulot. 「只」花30分鐘抵達上班地點就會心花怒放。 You’re gratified when it “only” takes you 30 minutes to get to work. 👱🏻♂️: Very true. It takes a long time to commute and go to your workplace here, but I think it’s the case in most big cities. For example, friends from my hometown think it’s sad to commute for almost an hour to go to the office. It’s very unlikely to do so in a smaller city.
Si tu rates le dernier métro, tu te prépares à attendre le taxi très longtemps … 一旦錯過最後一班捷運，你就準備好大排長龍等計程車。 You prepare to wait for a taxi until the cows come home when you miss the last metro. 👱🏻♂️: Hmm, I don’t know what to think. This fact is stupid. It’s just normal.
Tu flippes à l’idée qu’une classe entre dans ta rame de métro. 害怕有整班學生同時進到你在的車廂。 You’re freaking out about a class getting into your carriage. 👱🏻♂️: This means “you are afraid that a class (pupils) will enter the metro”. Hmm, I have never experienced such a thing, but of course, it is unpleasant when le métro is crowded, but it’s normal!
Tu sais que dès qu’il neige, ça tiendra pas plus de deux heures. 知道巴黎的雪撐不過2小時。 You know it won’t take more than two hours as soon as it snows. 👱🏻♂️: So true! And the snow turns into an horrible (they don’t pronounce h in French) grey and disgusting thing on the sidewalk.
T’es déjà allé voir une expo d’un peintre russe unijambiste et même que c’était pas mal. 你甚至看過來自俄羅斯獨腳畫家的展覽，而且覺得還不錯。 You’ve already seen an exhibition of a one-legged Russian painter, which was not bad. 👱🏻♂️: Hmm, this implies that Paris is very arty and “edgy.” I think it is partly true. Paris is full of art, but many exhibitions here are commercial. 👩🏻: I feel privileged to live in such a city with numerous and diverse exhibitions.
Tu te mets à avoir des envies de week-end à la campagne, alors que t’as jamais pu saquer ça. 開始渴望在鄉間度過一個週末，儘管你知道自己無法忍受。 You start having desires for a weekend in the country that you’ve never been able to stand. 👱🏻♂️: Meaning “you now fancy a week end (French people separate this word) in the countryside whereas you used to hate it”, and it is TRUE! I easily miss nature in Paris. Where are the trees?!
Tu te permets de tenter des styles vestimentaires dont tu te moquais avant. 開始嘗試以前不屑的穿著打扮。 You allow yourself to try dressing styles you used to make fun of. 👱🏻♂️: Slightly true. I feel it’s easier to be bold with your outfits in Paris than in Toulouse, for example, because it is a big city. However, I also think that the Parisian style is very classic. It’s not like in London or Berlin, where you see many people with dyed hair and uncommon outfits. 👩🏻: I just realised I never wore pink in Paris.
Tu es émerveillé devant les prix et le choix quand tu retournes dans un “grand” supermarché. 對大型購物中心的價格與眾多選項嘖嘖稱奇。 You are amazed at the prices and choices at a “big” supermarket. 👱🏻♂️: T R U E ! I try to buy tons of things in supermarkets back in my hometown because the prices are lower than in Paris. 👩🏻: Always! A L W A Y S !
Tu as envie de secouer les gens qui restent à gauche de l’escalator sans bouger. Et parfois sans aucun respect. 難掩衝動，想把那些佔據手扶梯左側不動如山的人推開。即使必須不留情面。 You feel like pushing away those stuck to the left side of the escalator, and sometimes, you can do so with no respect. 👱🏻♂️: I am a gentle cocorico, so I don’t. But it’s true that standing on the right when you are on the escalator is a BASIC rule that should be told to everyone in Paris!
Tu traverses n’importe où, n’importe quand. 無論何時何地都直接穿越馬路。 You cross anywhere, anytime. 👱🏻♂️: I don’t because I am not a barbarian. But I understand the fact. We are Latin people with no discipline, so it’s common to cross everywhere in the most savage way. 👩🏻: I even do that in Taipei ... so I feel much more comfortable doing so in Paris when everyone crosses altogether like a gang hehehe.
Tu culpabilises quand tu rentres chez toi en taxi alors il y a encore des métros (ou pas). 在還有捷運行駛的時段搭計程車回家（不）覺得慚愧。 You (don’t) feel guilty about going home by taxi when there is still the tube. 👱🏻♂️: I have nothing to say. I like the métro actually. You can see funny people and sometimes you can even read a book**
Tu penses qu’on devrait imposer une taxe aux vieux qui font leurs courses aux heures de pointes. 認為在尖峰時間購物的老人應該被課稅。 You believe the elders who shop during rush hour should be taxed. 👱🏻♂️: Grandpas and grandmas can shop whenever they want! I am a tolerant man, and I see people shopping in Paris anytime, anyway.
Tu captes au minimum 20 réseaux wifi dans ton appart’. 在自家公寓可以接收至少20個不同的無線網路。 You can connect to at least 20 WiFi from your flat. 👱🏻♂️: True! And some of the networks are very creative! But I reckon this fact is not specific to Paris (he never said “I reckon” when talking in real life).
Tu sais que peu importe le resto dans lequel tu vas, ta cuisine sera faite par un Pakistanais. 不管你去什麼餐廳，你知道都出自巴基斯坦人的手藝。 Whatever you order in whichever restaurant you go to, you know, is from a Pakistani. 👱🏻♂️: Sadly accurate. In many restaurants, the staff is made up of white people, and in the kitchen, you see “Pakistani” people. It’s not a cliché.
Tu sais qu’il va faire beau aujourd’hui, mais tu mets quand même une petite laine. Tu connais les courants d’air dans le métro. 好天氣也會穿羊毛衫，因為你知道捷運站裡有穿堂風。 Despite sunny weather, you still put on a cardigan to prevent the drafts in the underground. 👱🏻♂️: What is that nonsense?
Tu sais où trouver des clopes pas cher. Et tu es courant qu’avec un petit supplément, on te fait des tresses africaines. 你知道哪裡買菸才便宜，老闆還順邊幫你紮幾條非洲辮。 You know where to find cheap cigarettes, and you are familiar that they make you African braids with a little extra. 👱🏻♂️: Hmm, this is a bit racist. It implies that only African people sell cigarettes on the street.
Tu fais ce que tu peux pour éviter de prendre le métro à Châtelet, avec ses couloirs interminables. 知道如何不在捷運Châtelet站轉車，避免走那看似無止盡的接駁通道。 You know how to avoid taking the metro at Châtelet, where endless corridors exist. 👱🏻♂️: Yes, it’s so long! I remember walking for like 10 minutes every day in Châtelet to get my metro while working in the south of Paris. 👩🏻: I love Châtelet, and I love to walk!
Tu connais tous les quartiers de Paris. Mais tu sors toujours aux mêmes endroits. 熟悉巴黎的每一區，但從來只去同樣的地方。 You know all the districts of Paris, but you always go to the same places. 👱🏻♂️: Very true! I mostly stay in my neighbourhood because I have my habits there**
(bonus) Tu sais que la plus belle ville du monde, c’est ici. 你深知全世界最美的城市就是這裡。 You know the most beautiful city in the world is here. 👱🏻♂️: WRONG (it’s better than Bordeaux though)* (he hates that city) 👩🏻: Oh, it’s probably not the most beautiful city in the world, but I’m willing to settle down here, or at least for now.
Voilà ! C’est tout ! I hope you enjoy our discussion, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with us!
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